Using a vest as a dress is no news, but it can be really stylish. Here, I have layered, a dress AND the vest on top. And a wool sweater for when it gets cold at night.
I wonder if we are victims of the rumor called happiness. We have heard them, the storytellings during our childhood. We have read the fairytales. We have seen the tv-shows. We have read the teenage magazines, who tell us that when we hit adulthood, fin the right partner, the right job, then we will be happy. I call it victimization (I know, I use the word lightly right now) because we are fed illusions, right out lies!
It is wonderful, is it not? To feel that ecstatic feeling of happiness. A glorious energy through which you can view the world, a vibrating shield to leave you with an interpretation of life that seems more sunny, more full of colour and of love. No wonder we want to experience that again.
But, what about the other days? The days that are not spectacular in any way. The days when nothing remarkable happens, neither in a positive nor in a more difficult way? The days that just are. The days when your hopes for the future is buried in the pile of laundry or in the endless routines made to cope with life as it is. The days when you wonder about the road not taken, but tell yourself that it is impossible to take that turn. When yet another taco dinner is on the table followed by the same TV-shows as last Friday, and as the Friday before. When you start to ruminate on the meaning of life, and if this is it.
When you balance, like a line dancer, between discontentment and contentment, leaving it to the current wind, which side you end up on.
Life is mischievous, letting us taste the sweet, sugary, taste of the utter connection with another human being, the racing heart when offered just that chance you were hoping for, or tasting the salt on your lips while surfing on the waves of accomplishment. Then we hit another wave, one that might be called grief, or disappointment. Those waves come as naturally as the first, with the same platitude and can be ridden as hard.
So we keep surfing through the waves of life, in search of hitting those extraordinary ones. And we will find them, or they will find us, and we will experience the view from there, a scenery that makes us in awe. And rest assured, the waves will pass, and we will be in search of the next one.
Perhaps one day, we will be happy with the tranquility of the sea, the silent contentment. The days that just are. The days that at best are uninspiring. The days when we question our quest through life. Or, simply learn to enjoy the stillness of the ocean, and the view from there.
Are you fearful to show others that you are surfing on the calm sea, or even the wretched storm?
Do you sit and wait for that perfect wave, and denounce that calm sea in between?
You might miss out on life. You might miss out on the view from all the states of the sea.
Because life happens. All the time. Not just in the moments on twitter where the selfies on the highest wave get all the attention. i try to remind myself of it. And I do want to share my ability to ride the wave of happiness. Perhaps mostly to be able to embrace the moment a little bit longer.
Hopefully not because I am fearful to show others that I will fall off of it. Because I will. Today is a day with a calm sea. And, I embrace it. In fact, I have learnt to love it. I do my best to try to balance so that the wind blows me to the right side. Contentment. Today. Perhaps not tomorrow.
But, it is all right. All right.
Currently, I am working on how to manage my days, with the bodily and mental restrictions that I have (fatigue, problems concentrating, etc). Some days I feel like my life has been taken away from me. The person I used to know, she is gone. I knew her as someone who had tremendous capacity, she did everything she set her heart out to do. I miss her. I miss her stamina, and her ability to go through with what she wants.
If I compare us, I am saddened. I still want to explore the world, to be capable, to work a lot, to study, to learn, to enjoy long nights up, to just jump on a bike and let it take me wherever the wheels will take me.
Now I do not, I hold myself back, because I have to measure every little part of my energy that I use, not to be broken the next day. If I compare us, I will feel like I lost. Something. Everything.
Every day I try not to compare. It is a work that is continuous, a dance with my mind, where I want the thoughts full of encouragement to win. And some days, they do. They remind me how lucky I am to get ill in a country like this, where I am supported in the process, they remind me of what I have; a workplace I love that still wants me, a patient husband, caring friends and family. I can add so many things to this list today, because that is what I am filled with today.
Almost unnoticeably, the thoughts can start to wander; “I am not feeling great, perhaps this is going to be a tough day, for sure this will be a tough day, and also I have all these things I need to do, it will be too much, and all of them are tedious, again I have taken on too much than I can handle, and I just can not say no, what will people think of me, my life is like a prison….”
Do you recognize, not the exact thoughts, but the way that our mind can start that negative loop? And, what we think, we tend to believe.
Mindfulness is a way to start recognizing those negative loops, and perhaps stop them. When we stop a second, there is room to question these thoughts, and to fill that second with thoughts that can start a positive loop.
“I am not feeling great, although, I tend to feel better once the day has started, and if not, I am entitled to rest a bit more when I get home, chores will just have to wait until I feel better, and the only one judging me for that is myself, and now I choose to let it go.”
Some people find themselves in positive loops a lot of the time, although most of us have parts of our lives where we have to keep on working to keep the loop positive, and not end up in the negative one.
Perhaps take a second, think about something you found difficult, boring or challenging today, and notice which thoughts are there to influence your emotions, and perhaps next time, you can notice when they arrive, and let them have less influence on you. Be kind to yourself, we all do this. We are all human.
For my Norwegian readers, if you want to learn more: The books can be bought at BOKKILDEN (affiliate link/reklame)
Ok, ok, I am not turning this into a political blog. But, mind you, politics does affect our lives, all the time, every day!
Attacking capitalism will send me into a whirlwind of discussions I will not even be equipped to follow, I will not go there. And, I think there is no man-made system that works well. Capitalism works well for some, and perhaps that is the reason why it still lives on with such great support.
There are reasons to believe – reasons outlined in research – that capitalism does not work well for the majority.
I live in a fairly capitalist society, but, Norway is, compared to other countries a lot more socialistic. I know that for some, that is a curse-word, but there are reasons to believe that in a society with less inequalities, you also find less obesity, less incarceration, less diseases and less mental illness, to name a few. There is no good explanation to why it is so, one can only speculate. But, the correlation is so strong, it is difficult to ignore.
It seems like, also here, we tend towards a society where we are less concerned about the well-being of our neighbor, and more about ourselves. We tend to become more individualistic, and not so prone to think about sustaining a system that takes care of everyone. Perhaps that is a trend that is difficult to change by now? But, what if I say that economic and social equality will benefit yourself and your children, would you look into knowing more?
I just saw this TED-talk which strongly reminded me of a great book I read while doing my Master`s Degree, which thoroughly describes the huge differences between countries in social and medical problems, and the inferred reason why. Interesting read! Perhaps give one to your local politician? :-)
We all know that sleeping is a result of complicated processes and hormones in our brain.
I have read a lot about sleep due to my long-term sleeping disorder. There are still, though, so many things to learn about sleep, because it is so complicated.
I wanted to share this talk from TED.com with you, about how the brain cleans out the brain during our sleep, and we can only begin to imagine the consequences, when the brain does not get enough sleep to encourage those processes.
For those of you interested, just click THIS LINK.