Actually, I can laugh at the picture, but inside I feel sad.
For a few months now, I have felt increasingly better. I try my best to make the right choices, in order to get more healthy, among those, eating well. Tons of greens. Less sugar. Sprouts. Less medication. Therapy.
All I want, is to get some of my life back!
The last two weeks I almost felt that I had. I could do normal things – things you probably take for granted – take long walks in the sun, socialize, do more work in the house and the terrace. Just a few months ago I could not do these things, if I had also been to work. It has felt so good to have this freedom again. The freedom to do quite ordinary things. To give life a smile.
Thursday my body told me something. Perhaps it told me I had overdone it. Perhaps it needed to remind me that I still need to work on the progress. Perhaps a few nights of poorer sleep had taken the toll. Perhaps it just shuts down on occasion. On Friday I pulled myself to yoga, and it cleared everything up! Yoga always knows best! Just start to practice, and it will tell you what your body needs right now. So I got eager, and did some tough yoga again on Saturday. Eagerness is wonderful. Eagerness can be dangerous. Saturday I shut down again. When I am like this, it is not only my body, but also my mind. My cognition is so tightly knit with my body, I can not even carry a normal conversation. I can not focus. My head is heavy. My body is heavy. And I am saddened. Discouraged. And I have to let myself be sad and discouraged. Let it out. Acknowledge that this state causes me to believe that my life will be this way forever.
Until I can believe, once again, that everything will change. Nothing ever stays the same. The only reason why we linger in the same emotions all the time, is because we can not let go of our convictions, our thoughts. We think them over and over again, with the same emotions as a result. Notice. Notice how you create your world by believing or not believing your current thoughts. They are just thoughts. You do not have to listen to them. Notice. Are there any other thoughts that you may be able to trust in? Notice. How can they open up your mind to a different outlook?
Today, I am working on mine. Noticing. Accepting. Exploring. Starting anew. I want more of what feels good. So, I will do more of what took me there. And first, I have to listen to my body who tells me I can not do anything today. So, I can choose to curse it. Or, I can choose to embrace it`s clear message to me. Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and we have to decide how to catch them. When to sit down and let life happen. When to act. And, perhaps most importantly, learn how to work WITH life, and not against it. We struggle more when we fight what is happening to us. Acknowledge the experience, and from there, you can find new paths.
What I CAN do, it to give me more of my nutritional medicine…..