Stillness and restlessness

For some time, I have struggled with a chronic illness. Yoga and meditation have been my saviours in this time, making me feel both strong and in touch with my vulnerability. But, even in my efforts to listen to my body and mind, it has been difficult to change my perception of myself, as someone who can work a lot and has a lot of capacity. So now I am trying to find a balance that is better for me. After an active day playing with my beautiful nieces in the snow yesterday, I woke up feeling exhausted today. Still, I was adamant about going to my mat. I decided to do a slow practice, some yin yoga, to energize me. And I discovered my restlessness in the poses.This time I was not struggling to balance or practice a Imageforearmstand, this time my mind got all the attention, and it was everywhere but here. But, suddenly, I was filled with gratitude for the wisdom my body shows, by letting me know what is good for me in the moment. Sometimes, in yoga such as in life in general, it is easy to do the poses while our mind is wandering. As Patanjali said in the Yoga-Sutras: 

“Both practice and nonreaction are required to still the patterns of consciousness. Practice is the sustained effort to rest in that stillness [..] As for nonreaction, one can recognize that it has been fully achieved when no attachment arises in regard to anything at all…”

So easy and yet so incredibly challenging. To let go of the outcome, both of today’s practice, todays experiences, the hope of becoming well. It is when I stop working on being well, that it might come to me……

Please share your thoughts and experiences, I know that there are many of you out there who wish for a change of something in your life. What are your thoughts on the balance between action and non-reaction when it comes to changing or achieving something we want?

 

 

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