All play and no sleep:-)

Perhaps you now think that means I have been out partying all nigth…but jeeez, I can not even remember when that last happened:-)
I have become a boring “old” lady the last couple of years, and even though I do get treatment for my 8 year-long sleep disorder, my body has shut down to the extent that I can not do as much during a day anymore, before I need to rest. That is one of the explanations why I have not yet tried to get children (even though I am soon to old for that, some would say, but nooooo, I feel like i still have lots of time, we will see who is right in the end, he he).

I had my nieces over yesterday, and one of them slept over. I truly enjoy their company, but also the quietness after they leave. I acutally had a two hour nap when she left. So that makes me very ambivalent: I would like the experience of having children, at the same time I am wondering how I will be able to follow the high tempo and provide for them what they need. I know it is not easy to juggle work, social life, being there physically, mentally and emotionally for the children. But jeez, I have already given up the idea of a clean home at all times, I do not know how some parents do that….but who wants to live in a pigsty either:-)

It’s a dilemma, and we all have those once in a while in our lives. I trust that I will feel better and better, so that this dilemma will solve itself…at least I am not worried:-)

I try to live by being in the present, not to regret the past and not to worry too much about the future. It is a continuous practice, something that should be practiced every day.

Just sharing some thoughts on a Sunday:-)

Love,

S

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