Love towards the departed

I don’t mean to bombard you with my thoughts around berevement and grief, but it is something that I am occupied with at times, and sometimes the words just take on their own opinion, and wants out, he he.

Last time, here, I wrote about what gives us meaning when we go through such hardships.

I have been thinking about how often, when we lose someone (in death, but also when losing a relationship to a partner) we tend to remember the positives and the good memories. I know that is not always the case, and anger is also a normal reaction when in grief.
But, for many, the loss brings out all the things we are missing or will be missing in the future. It can make bereavement harder, because the loss may seem so terribly large.

On the other hand, I wonder if we in grief also find the utter generousity in ourselves?

That the bearing of our soul that a loss entails, the lack of control we have towards death or another loss, opens up the capability to feel for someone in a way that we otherwise do not do -without judgement and fear- in selfless love.

Or, are we fooling ourselves, painting the picture in so many colours that may not have been there, but that is how we would like to remember it? Sometimes we have dreams of how things should have been, and sometimes those dreams are more difficult to lose, than what we in reality have lost. That is why it gets so complicated, for instance when we have had a difficult relationship with someone, and do not want to be in it, but when we lose them, we feel terrible loss and bad conscience for feeling so.

I do not have the answer on these questions, but the first thought comforts me more than the latter.

Please share! I know that so many of you out there have experienced loss in some way or another.

Love,

S

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