When I saw this little picture posted on Facebook, it made me think.
It is a nice little message, and in some ways it makes sense, but I also disagree. It says “Do not make yourself little to make others feel big. Do not make yourself feel big to make others feel little.”
There are times when I think it is OK to make oneself small. Not do degrade yourself. Not to make yourself feel bad about yourself. But, simply, to elevate someone you find deserving of it, or in deer need of it.
I remember a psychologist I used to work with. He was a tall man, but always scooped down in the couch as we were having a group treatment. He told me that he did that to not hover over anyone. The patiens did not have to feel smaller than they already might have felt (unfortunately, just by asking for help).
This is something I will never forget, and have taken to heart. I will gladly be more than humble for someone who think poorly about themselves. I am not the one who needs praise, others might be in need of meeting someone heart to heart, to feel that others have felt the same feelings of inadequacy at some point in time.
I will not dismiss who I am. But, if I know who I am, that will never happen. If I feel secure of being enough just the way I am, I am ok with letting others first.
Those things are easy to say. I have been lucky to have an unbringing where I have known that I have been loved. That has not secured a good sense of self in my childhood. Later in life, though, I have come to love myself for the qualities that I hold. I have meditated to shake off some of my precious experiences where I have been stuck with a feeling of inadequacy. I have used a daily diary to remind myself of all the things worth being thankful for. I have shared all experiences, and this way allowed feedback from others. My experience is that when I open up, others will as well.
People want to share heart to heart.
Open up, and you will be given back trifolds.
Elevate someone and you will be elevated as well.
You are better than noone, and noone is better than you!