I feel blessed to be a woman raised in Scandinavia. My father always taught me that I could do anything, from changing tires, to be in charge of my own future by taking education and being independent.
I think he was afraid of my independence once I married a man from Canada, with African heritage. I am glad he soon realized that he need not be worried. We are both strong-minded, and also are we both respectful and patient with the other (well, may I add, most of the time, all relationships have their ups and downs).
In Scandinavia, we have come far when it comes to equality. When I hear stories about women elsewhere, I can not believe them, at times. I can not believe being raised in a culture that is permeated with loathing agains women. No woman should have to live like that.
I try not to take it for granted. And, it also raises questions for me. Where are we going from here? For me, it seems like the interpretation of equality here has become a matter of being alike. Are we no longer respecting the differences that are between man and woman. We are, after all, regulated by different hormones, our brains are wired a bit differently. And, should we not respect that?
I see around me, a trend where women tend to have the power of dedinition in a relationship. With that, I mean, women have strong opinions on how the relationship should be, how a man should behave, that he should be not only a good partner, but earn money, be strong and soft, be a good dad and have his own interests.
Women have support groups, for the most part. Our friends. We talk about relationships, get support for our opinions, come home to our man and have even stronger opinions about how things should work in the home.
A lot of men do not share those matters with each other. A lot of men, I think, feel defined from a woman’s point of view, not a man’s.
Have biult a society where his congenital traits are at best not valued, in a relations perspective?
To generalize, a man is someone to rely on when the family is threatened, when food needs to be found, when crisis occur! He will step up, he will protect, he will lead. But, what does he do, when he is not in a position where the woman wants to be lead, wants to be protected? What will be seen as his strength? I am not saying those are a man’s only strenght. I have had many good men in my life, to prove otherwise. I am just asking, are we starting to belittle men because they are not like women?
I just saw this picture on facebook today, and it is not the only one circulating out there. What if the roles were reversed? What if it was about women? Any wan who would share such a statement would be seen as a chauvinist. It is used as humour, but really, when did it become OK for women to use control techniques that we no longer would allow from men?
Are we becoming what we fought against in generations?
I am just wondering…