Thank you for telling me so loudly

7 years have passed. I can not believe my own voice when I say that 7 years have passed. Many times it seems like last week you would call me to talk about your frustrations or solve world problems together. When I needed your help, you were only a few clicks away. You made me laugh so effortlessly, with your well known dry humour. You would lay your head on my shoulder, so you didn’t have to say anything for me to feel how close we were. 

You will always be my little brother, I will always feel protective. It is funny, because you were a man. Not just any man, a man who had gone throughout the military and the hardship it entailed, a man who took challenges head on, no matter how difficult it could seem. That is what they say is real courage. And you were. Courageous. I always wished you could see that in yourself. I hope that you do now.

You are in my thoughts every day. Some days are even more special. That is why I posted your picture and a poem about you on your birthday.

Little did I know that you somehow would hear. Little did I know that you somehow would answer.

Last night, the day after your birthday, I randomly – or so it seemed – looked to purchase a used bbq. There was only one in the area, and it was one that I wanted. When we went to pick it up, the young couple asked me if I was your sister. It startled me. How could they know?

They say that they has recognized my name from the birthday posting, and when they saw me, they knew. It was obvious that I was your sister. It is funny, how I never thought we looked alike as kids, but now I see you in the mirror.

It was Anders, your roommate and friend from College in the military, and his wife. They asked me in to look at old albums, the fun times you shared back then. Your happy face on the pictures. The story about the night you unexpectedly picked up the microphone to sing Karaoke, and the room fell silent to listen to your voice!

It feels so good to see that happy face, because the struggles you had fade for a while. Just to know that you live on in the memories in other people as well, that the story of your life is not forgotten. You have left an imprint.  

I can not help but wonder how I ended up there. 3 minutes from home, to pick up a bbq. The day after your birthday, so my name would be fresh in their memory. Perhaps you wanted to thank me for thinking of you, for keeping you alive, for keeping you close. Perhaps this was your way of reaching me. Telling me that you are here for me too.

Thank you for telling me so loudly!

❤ ❤



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