There are times in life to stand back, to accept, to rest in the awareness that your life has changed. And, there are times in your life to be the changes your want to see.
4 years ago I could not get out of bed. I had pushed my sleep-deprived self to a point where there was nothing left. My neurologist pushed me to take meds so I could rest. It was needed, but still I was so tired, so tired. Also, I was tired of trying everything. Changing a diet because I have food allergies. Trying all the suggestions for good sleep you can think of. Trying alternative treatment until I had no money left. Meditating. Standing on my head, because it is supposed to induce sleep! Literally standing on my head!
Until I lost faith. In headstands. And, in standing on my head to be certain nothing was untested. I was tired of trying, as well. So, the effortless help from the medication was welcomed at that point. And the sleep was needed. But, the medication does not change my energy. It does not change the reason why my poor sleeping pattern is sustained.
So, now there is time for change. I thought I was eating healthily. More so than most people I know, anyway. My body told me otherwise.
And if there is something that I have been forced to learn through these years, it has been to listen to my body.
My body is much, much wiser than my mind is at times!
My faith is back. Tons of veggies and fruit, fermented drinks to feed myself with probiotics, sprouted grains and seeds, yoga, and letting go of old emotions through therapy- my body slowly responds to it. I have energy to do yoga, to do chores, to socialize a bit at least. My head is clearer, even when I am tired. I need to sleep at lot still, but I am used slightly less medication. I am hoping that, eventually, I can stop taking the meds, and I am hoping that I can live a life that feels lighter and more fulfilling.
I do not want to be a victim. A victim of the limitations of my body.
I will do what I can, to not be a victim, but a victor. The thought itself is energizing. Wish me luck 🙂